


Fashion Secret Version 2.0

by LeastExpected_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Fetish, Humor, Kinks, M/M, Points of View
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-04
Updated: 2002-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:54:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26195230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeastExpected_Archivist/pseuds/LeastExpected_Archivist
Summary: by Belladonna BrandybuckAfter a night on the town, the 'Bad Boys of Hobbiton' decided to pull a prank on Pippin that would change his whole way of life!
Relationships: Merry Brandybuck/Pippin Took
Kudos: 1
Collections: Least Expected





	Fashion Secret Version 2.0

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Amy Fortuna, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Least Expected](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Least_Expected), which has been offline since 2002. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Least Expected collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/leastexpected/profile).
> 
> Disclaimer: Same old, same old. Tolkien's characters, my storyline.
> 
> Feedback: Please do!
> 
> Story Notes: D'oh! First one didn't work out as I hoped. Oh well, back to the posting board!

So, you think that there is no such thing as a secret kept hidden? Well, your too wrong, my dear friend. Because I, Peregrin Took, have a secret which NOBODY knows about. Well, one person, thanks to...no, I'll tell you later. At first it was embarrassing to me, but I got over it. In fact, now I love what I do! And to think, it all started when my dear cousin Frodo got a little tipsy after a night out on the town...

* * *

There I was, out with the others for a quiet little drink down at the Green Dragon. It was Frodo's birthday, and a special time to celebrate for sure! All the eligible hobbit lasses were there, and any lads too. Aye, including me. Though I didn't find anyone anyways interesting, I did have particular fun with one Rosie Cotton, before Sam pulled me off. Bloody jealous git, even if he won't admit it.

Frodo sat in the corner, surrounded by all these beautiful lasses. Lucky hobbit, that baby face of his just reels them all in. I sat on the edge, about a foot from them, just reeking in envy. How did he do it? Oh well, not to worry. All I had to do was stand up and they'd follow me outside to my hobbit hole.

I left; they didn't. Sadly, and kind of dejected, I just made my way home, crawled into bed, and slept. Silly me forgot to lock the door!

Apparently after that, the `boys' Sam, Merry and Frodo snuck into my house, and stole all of my clothes, right down to the underwear in my drawer. And you know what they left me in return? Some silly dresses they'd borrowed from Rosie! I guess they'd had a bit too much ale that night. Right? Right?

Well, no matter. All I know is I woke up, and in place of where my breeches and shirts would be were piles of dresses, and these thinks called `panties' and `bras'. What in the good name were these? I thought. I tore my dresser apart looking for my breeches, then my closet, then my living room. Nope, all that was there were piles and piles of dresses! Needless to say, I did NOT go out that day.

Let's see now, that was two days before I finally got out of bed, starving hungry without a crumb in the house. Of course, having nothing but dresses to wear made me feel, how you say it, queer. So I slipped one on. Good god, it was windy! Well, there must have been a draft in the house, because I suddenly got all cold. How did they manage to keep warm in the winter? I thought a bunch of ice had been shoved down my back, and everywhere else. So I slipped the things called panties on. Somehow I guessed that they were in the wrong place when they didn't fit over my head.

After getting the woman-shackles on and done up, (Which, by the way, isn't as painful as some lads think it is), I looked over myself in the mirror. Funny enough, it didn't look like a lot. So after a quick rummage through the closet again, I managed to find one of the most blessed things in the room - the hat I stole from Farmer Maggot! With such a wide brim, there would be nobody in Hobbiton who would've recognized me! Especially if I was hunched over...spoke like a maidchild...oh heck, they'd know it was me! But I had to go out and eat something! Oh what a cruel world...

I stepped out of my door, shamefully hiding my oh so red face. Was that wind still around? Must have been, I was freezing my ass off! And lasses never catch a cold, bah!

That had to be the longest trip I'd ever made in my young life. I just walked along the road, keeping my head down as far as I could. Sure I tripped over a few stones, but at least nobody saw me. And this draft up my skirt was REALLY getting to me. But the breeze was getting warmer. Hmm, maybe this wasn't so bad after all? Wait, what was I thinking? I'm a lad, dressed up as a lass. And I was HUNGRY, a bad combination.

Everything seemed to go all right, nothing seriously wrong. As usual, nobody asked a stranger for their business: hobbits are too polite for that. I managed to get a good supply of milk and cheese before I hurried back to my hole and slammed the door. I'd made it back! Undiscovered! Then, of course, it went downhill...

Someone knocked out my door. I screamed, dropping the cheese. I ran to the door, slamming into it to keep it shut. "Who is it?!"

"It's me, Merry!" Of course, it WOULD be. Bloody Merry must have followed me home! "What do you want?"

He tried pushing against the door, and it gave a little. I dug my heels into the floor, starting to panic. "I wanted to see that lass who's just gone into your house!" Good god, he'd seen me! Now it was time to panic! "You can't come in, I'm sick!" For a while, I thought he'd bought it. Then I was thrown flat on my face as the door flung open. I lay on the floor, too afraid to move or look up at him.

I felt two rough hands on my waist. What the hell was he doing? Oh, picking me up. He set me down on my feet, brushing me off. "I'm sorry, miss!" Hey! Where does he think he's going with that hand?

"Thank you." I said in my highest voice, trying to hide my face with the hat.

Merry smiled. Oh, I was frightened now. Here he was, with me in a dress, smiling at me. And when he smiled at the lasses, it meant one thing: A Rumble. "I-Is there anything I can do for you?"

Merry grabbed my hand. Oh lord, I knew I was in for it. I covered more of my face, blushing immensely. "Why don't we go to the bedroom, and talk it over?" Talk? Oh nonono, that wasn't Merry. Oh god, he was going to shag me! What could I do? Let him see me in the dress? I couldn't do that! Then again, letting him shag me wasn't the best solution either!

Before I could tell him anything, he'd dragged me into my own bedroom. Oh Jesus, someone had been in there and taken all the dresses! Contemplating my revenge on the `boys', I hardly noticed that I was now sitting down on the bed, with a now-shirtless Merry beside me. When I saw him, I nearly choked. He grabbed my hand, kissing it. Ooh, I should've slapped him for that! But my instincts told me not to - I might drop my hat.

He moved farther and farther up my arm, kissing it in its entirety. I had no feeling left in my arm, because my entire body had gone limp. BIG MISTAKE. Soon I found myself under Merry, luckily still with the hat. His hand ventured up my skirt: oh dear god this was disturbing! And he was holding my arms down! It moved closer, and closer...

"MERRY! STOP IT!" I sat up and slugged him one, knocking him down to the ground. Recovering my wits, I rolled over and hid on the other side of the bed.

I looked under the bed, and saw his feet coming closer. I crawled up in a little ball, almost forgetting the hat. I was blushing everywhere, so ashamed that my crush had seen me wearing a dress! He was over me now, reaching down.

I felt his hand go under my chin, and pull my head up. We looked at each other, eye to quivering eye, before he finally let me go. I sat down and cried. How could I live now? He'd spread it to all the Shire-folk, and maybe even to Gondor! I cried even more, even as he picked me up of the floor, and set me down on the bed, and cradled me in his arms.

"There there, little Pippin." He said to me, as calmly as a mother speaking to her wee child. "Look at me." I refused, turning my head away, full of an unspeakable shame. He took my face in his hands, and there we were, eyes locked together. I couldn't turn away, because he was closer to me. And closer. Wait, what was he doing?

I felt Merry's cherry, full, warming lips press against mine, and for a few precious seconds I felt higher than the clouds, or after you smoke too much pipe-weed, whatever's higher. And he stayed there. I tried tapping him on the shoulder, but he pressed harder on me! Was this some kind of game?

He finally pulled away. It was disappointing. Not the kiss, I mean, but that he pulled away, and sat with me, clutching me close and rubbing my neck. I purred, I think. I must have, because he started kissing my neck harsh! I just sat there and let him, loving this sudden moment of passion.

While he slowly made his way farther down my body, I stared at the bed post. Merry, what was he doing to me? Why was he doing to me? What was it that suddenly makes this cute hobbit come onto me like some wild bee to a flower?

He stopped. I took notice, because I was being hauled up onto the bed. He laid me down, and put himself beside me. I just looked at him with my deep-brown eyes. He turned over, stroking my thigh. "Oh, Merry! What soft hands you have!" I said, before I could think. I slapped my mouth shut, blushing horribly.

He took my hand away, and said the most memorable of words in my ear, which still makes me leap with joy every time I hear it. "I think you look good in a dress, Pippin." Did you hear that? He thought I looked good in a dress!

It was about an hour before I noticed he was gone. I didn't care what he said anymore, all I knew is that there must be something to this dress business.

I got up to the mirror, and adjusted my dress to a tea. Looking at myself, I said out loud, as if shouting it to the world.

"I wonder if I'd look better if I wore some makeup?"

* * *

So, it's a couple of years later, and I'm now secret lovers with Merry. (Don't tell him I told you this, but he likes it when I nibble on his feet.) Frodo and Sam have since gotten together, and let me tell you, I don't think they're right for each other. Apart from that, everything going well in Shaggington.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go put my afternoon frock on. Merry's coming over for tea and mushrooms.

**\--END--**


End file.
